Wednesday, 31 December 2014

31st December 2014

2014 is coming to an end and I catch myself thinking,  “Thank God and good riddance”.

It’s been a trying year all round, I’ve struggled to find my footing and I feel that I have lost much ground.

Bad choices led to bad decisions,
- short tempers to heated arguments
- plain pride and disdain to brokenness all round.

Sigh…  so, “Thank God and good riddance”.

It seems that the thing to do is to leave this year and “move on” into the next, with a hope that it’s going to be a better one. It’s tempting to resolve to not allow the repeat of mistakes, to plan ahead and leave negatives behind and move towards an optimistic vision of “fresh air and sunshine”.

Very tempting…

But yet I’m feeling a gnawing sense of futility.

The honest truth is it seems like a whole lot to get over and I know I don’t have what it takes, (God knows I didn't this year).

So here’s what I’m going to do…

In humility, I will submit. I acknowledge that as man, I have been measured and have come up short.

In faith, I know that there is a reason for my creation. In faith I know that it is this reason that will make my (yours too) life whole. I will submit to this reason.

I know it is not an easy choice to make (or a thing to do) but I also know that whatever the outcome
-       it will be one that will come with peace
-       it will be without regret and worry

I acknowledge its not going to be without challenges, but purpose will justify it.

My “resolution” if you must call it that, is to make next year my testimony to the glory of God!

I pray that a shared kiss and a hug at the stroke of midnight tonight will be enough to start me on that road to redemption.  

Saturday, 20 April 2013

For Eli.

My forth daughter, Carissa Eliora was born on 13 April 2013. This I hope is something she'll find comfort in when we're no longer here to tell her how much we love her.

Where magic brings light and darkness is gone
a gift is delivered - a child is born.
With her a message for all whom would hear
there is hope for the future - no need for fear.

A sight to behold - a sight to hold dear.
A spirit of greatness in this little tyke here!

Carissa Eliora thus has been named
with her - this she'll carry for the rest of her days.
May she remember when she thinks she has none
in her name holds favour and the light of the One.

Thursday, 13 December 2012

A prophets prayer.

Father, Lord, God, Creator Of The Universe. I praise and I thank You for this invitation to worship. I thank You for Your Spirit that lives in me despite my brokenness. I praise You for Your infinite mercy to allow the doors of redemption to remain open to me. 

Father as I am before You, I ask You to look into my being – I ask that You recognise my faults. 

I accept the light that You spoke into existence at the creation, as You take account of me, may this light dispel the darkness of my soul, may it illuminate within me the path to salvation.

Father soften my heart and give me the courage that I may recognise my iniquities.

Father I lift up all my transgressions and all my trespasses - I place them at Your feet. Take them Father.

In faith - I know that nothing is above You.

In faith - I know, in Your mercy You will transform these into blessings for those I have wronged.

Father may a fortitude that can only come from You descend upon me so that, I – because of You, may have the courage to stand against all that is not of You.

Father I thank You that You continue to use the broken to do Your work. For as long as You choose to place Your hand of anointing over me, Father I ask that I remain broken - so that none that You give through me is held back. May all the work You set out to do through Your anointing on my life be accomplished.

Father, in Your time, I ask that I may be made worthy of rest in the comfort of Your protection. I ask for that time that - You remove conflicts that my brokenness causes within myself and for those around me.

Father, in Your time I ask also that I be made worthy to be called out of rest and to continue Your work. As You do this Father, I plead for the gifts of the Holy Spirit to fall upon me, may my will be brought closer to Yours so that I may never question Your calling.

Father, when my time at this place ends, I pray that You will at the end of all accounts find me worthy to be included into Your fold - amongst Your prophets and saints and all those who kept true to Your Word.

Father, I pray that You protect my family and those dearest to me as I do Your work, bless them and keep them safe from the snares of the Evil One.

Father, as Christ has lifted from us all the burden of sin, may they also come to know You as You are. May they also find Your calling and purpose for their lives and may it always be for them as abundant as You have described in this world and the next.

And Father as You are just and truthful, even as I pray this, in Spirit I know You have set out to see all these happen. 

I thank you Father and I make this prayer in the most holy and awesome name – Jesus Christ.


Tuesday, 16 October 2012

A legend moves on

He was a good man.

He lived his life well. Not just for himself – he built character for the family - most times he was the character of the family.

Peter Duarte,

It’s never a good time to say goodbye, yet we must – you’ve been called home.

It’s difficult to see through pain when you’re in the middle of it - but when the smoke clears and ashes set - I know your lessons will be not be lost.

I see how they live on in your daughter, my wife.

I know my kids will remember you – They loved their Grandpa.

Thanks dad.

Thursday, 20 October 2011

The Leopard And Its Spots

So once again we see truism in the idiom about the leopard and its spots.

Barely 3 months has passed since the BERSIH rally where we saw an out poring of the sense of solidarity amongst the Malaysian people. Many commentators spoke about how the assembly reflected the true spirit of 1 Malaysia. I'll say it now. THERE ISN'T SUCH A THING!

People in general reeling from the hype of running around on the streets were gushing...
-        How creed and colour mattered no more.
-        How everybody now celebrated and reveled this meeting of minds and hearts.
-        How this would change things for Malaysia and her people
-        How "tear gas made us colorblind" (credit to the guy that came up with the line - probably a copywriter)
-        How we finally came to the realisation that we are all the same, brothers even.

Barely 3 month ago we appreciated small gestures, "Malays/Muslims and non Malays/Muslims helping each other run helter skelter in the face of the police. Amongst those who could not move fast enough and got caught in tear gas and water canon blasts, simple table salt and water shared amongst strangers was God-sent and merited blog postings about how lives were apparently touched and new understandings formed.

Today, barely 3 months, later we are once again, we find ourselves at polarised ends.

There is a rally that is currently being planned to demonstrate against the alleged conversion of Muslims to the Christian faith.

All this has sprung from a charity dinner some Muslims attended. The dinner was organised by a church and was RAIDED!

The raiding party comprised of the police and Muslim authorities accused the organisers of trying to convert Muslims. The allegations were later dropped because they were unfounded. Why they would raid a church-organised charity dinner instead of some bunch of Muslims conspiring to cause some social unrest after Friday prayers is well beyond me. (well actually it isn't)

The Sultan of Selangor came up with the "statement of the year" - successfully at the same time saying something to the effect of the church had done nothing wrong but was guilty.

Here is an extraction of the Sultan’s statement to the press on the church dinner issue.

“Article XLVII of the Laws of the Constitution of Selangor 1959, Clause (1) Article 3 and Clause (1) Article 11 of the Federal Constitution have given the freedom to believers of other religions to practice their beliefs in peace and harmony. This freedom has been practised in harmony in this State. We wish that this harmony, which has existed for a long time, will continue to exist. Protect your rights and religion and do not attempt to subvert the belief and faith of Muslims.
Based on the investigations by JAIS, there is evidence that there were attempts to subvert the faith and belief of Muslims but that the evidence obtained would be insufficient for further legal actions to be taken. Therefore, after carefully deliberating the report by JAIS and after obtaining advice from religious authorities and legal experts, We are in agreement that there would be no prosecution against any parties.”

What a load of utter rubbish! Baseless allegations receiving pomp validity because the Sultan said it!

The allegations and subsequent investigations were obviously bias, therefore did not produce any evidence. The allegation in itself is bordering on being slanderous and baseless.

Furthermore, how does one in this case prove or disprove an act "to subvert the faith and belief of Muslims”?
-        What about non-Muslim women who do not wear Muslim attire?
-        What about the selling and consumption of pork? Alcohol?
-        Cinemas, providing conducive environment for unwed Muslim couples to ‘khalwat’ should be burned then. Preferably while the Muslims are still inside.

So chief idiot having spoken - minion idiots follow.

Obviously the first thing they do is to organise a rally against what the Christians (according to the Sultan) did not do. 

- Brilliant!

What happened to the solidarity of 3 months ago?

So today we learn…
-        our parents knew what they were talking about when they used idioms on us.
-        its not worth sharing your salt and water with Muslims (to be fair – most Muslims).
-        it does not pay to help the Muslims (to be fair again – most Muslims) when the police are running down on them with tear gas, water cannons and batons in hand.
-        and finally, Sultans are not infallible.

1 Malaysia? My ass!

Hate to say it here, but - I TOLD YOU SO!

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

I wasn't at the Bersih rally

I wasn’t at the Bersih rally.

I have however followed all the developments leading to and after the rally closely. I am unequivocally in support of the general ideals of the movement.

Yet, I wasn’t at the rally.

There wasn’t a definite reason why I didn’t go; somehow throughout the build up, the sense of fanfare did not sit well with me. 

I somehow couldn’t find that place in my gut that said “Yeah! This is the thing to do!”, that it would be worth it. I just couldn’t be sure.

As I am writing this I’m getting a sense that this isn’t going to be a piece that will be popular with many people, some, very dear friends, some, people I truly respect and look up to.

Yet this is my truth.

If you did attend the rally, well done! I’ll say it now. IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO! To stand up and be counted, to somehow send out a message to say “I don’t want to be short changed any more, and by the way I’m too fed up to be afraid!”

I am however becoming increasingly concerned with the emotional reactions generated post Bersih.

After the rally we’ve all seen many videos and written testimonies that were heartfelt. One theme rings through – SOLIDARITY. The claim that people of different races and creeds coming together, working towards a common purpose, against a common enemy.

The Lady Of Liberty.

The death.

The water cannons, tear gas, brutality, reluctant enforcers, lost, confused, inspired… hope.

Hope? Really?

Ever watched Pearl Jam live in concert, thinking it was the show of the century, and then watched the video of the same concert on VHS? Then realised that Vedder’s singing was nothing compared to the album you had come to love?

Missed notes, cracking voice all masked by the live band and you singing along.

When the euphoria fades all that’s left is the engineered memory of a great concert, influenced by nuances of the mosh pit moving in unison, communal pot being passed around (amongst strangers no less) and the guttural sound of 50,000 fans singing the chorus of Jeremy.

The truth however remains, missed notes and a cracking voice, pale in comparison to the promise of the album.

If you are still reading this well done, don’t write this off just yet.

The problems for Malaysia sit on many different levels. They all begin with the people in power. A corrupt, manipulative bunch that have been around for 2 generations - over 50 years.

Therefore I say a call for fair and transparent election practices that will likely erode the death grip of this bunch of monkeys on Malaysia is indeed the right thing to do.

I also said earlier, the problems with Malaysia sit on different levels.

The definition for a ‘level’ differs amongst individuals.

For me personally, I couldn’t care less if it was really Najib or his ape that actually ran the country. My problems aren’t even really about the questionable moral standing of the administration.

They are about what affects me.

I am denied equal opportunity in Malaysia, the land in which I am born.
I am subject to unfair taxation practices based on race and religion.
Oppressive limitations are set on the practice of my faith.

I have always stood against the illogical, vicious defense of the enshrined Malay position.

Not the Malay position itself, not the NEP, but it’s simple-minded defense. This is no doubt a product of propaganda put in place by the government to buy in the masses to create a secure grass root base that would continue to elect the same monkeys into position provided the gravy train remained. 

How would you expect the gravy train to last when Najib, his ape and countless others think its ok to go on RM 73,000,000 jewelry shopping excursions?

Yes, it does seem now that we are all victims of circumstance. The mass Malays at one end of the spectrum having grown used to the gravy train and now not getting enough against the rest of Malaysia, some 30% of it, with even less propping up the country through taxes paid saying “Hell! I’ve had enough!”

The mandate previously given by the mass Malay population to the government to systematically subdue other races, for they own benefit is now evidently eroding. I am convinced it isn’t because they recognise the injustice and oppression. It simply is a case of the house - dog turning feral on its owner when it isn’t fed enough.

I personally don’t think they should have the cake and eat it.

I should have been at the Bersih rally to claim what is mine (constitutionally) from an oppressive government. If I were there with a bunch of people wanting more for themselves, I wouldn’t call it solidarity.

If I were there with those wanting political reform to form a Muslim state to enforce Huddut laws, I wouldn’t call it solidarity.

If I were there with those wanting to further exploit other races for their benefit, I wouldn’t call it solidarity.

Not by a long shot.

It has always been the Malay thing to take their demonstrations to the streets and wear their emotions on their sleeves.

They’ve done it so many times, 9 out of 10 against non - Malays and our beliefs. Dare we forget the cow head issue in Shah Alam? The Cina balik China? use of the word Allah? They almost seem to like demonstrations.

They demonstrate against their neighbours, to the government whom they claim has failed to protect their rights. The government slaps them on the wrist then moves to offer some form of solution to make them happy. It’s all wayang kulit.

Just because we happened to march along side at the same time, this time, does not make us brothers in arms. It did not mean we achieved a common goal. It did not even mean we had the same goals to begin with. It certainly does not mean they will stop marching against others, when they see an opportunity to.

Yes, I am generalising here. I know there are Malay individuals who truly believe in the equality that we strive for, I acknowledge and thank you, you are the hope we are so in need of, on the other hand there are also Chinese and Indian sell-outs who take on the name Abdullah to avail themselves to government contracts and Bumiputra privileges, these are just as bad if not worse.

There must be some change to convince me there is hope. Change either in the psyche of the Malay community or the composition of the government.

Change to affect some semblance of equality and fairness. One party needs to accept it and the other to facilitate it.

So did Bersih 2.0 work? Depending on what you wanted it to achieve.
We did make noise.
We got noticed.
Got the Queen of England to wear Yellow.

Free and fair general elections? I don’t know.

Free and fair in general? No.

So what's next?

Saturday, 19 February 2011

An open letter to our dear Prime Minister

Dear Sir,
If you are reading this, thank you very much for taking the time.

I’ll take a very simple and straightforward approach in writing this, I don’t want to be misconstrued and get into trouble for all the wrong reasons. I merely want to say what is on my mind and perhaps hope against all hope that I‘ll be able to see changes that I think most Malaysians (except those who enjoy having their fingernails pull out for the fun of it) would like to see.

I’m a Malaysian citizen and as you may have read in my previous writings, I’m really not quite happy.

There are many things that are wrong in this country and I am sure that as Prime Minister, you are aware that the country has gone to the dogs. We seem to be in an endless downward spiral. At the very least, you must know that the people don’t really like what you’ve done (or not done, depending on how you’re looking at it) for the country so far.

I understand that in the prominent position that you are, you will always be subject to many politically motivated attempts to undermine your position. This is not one of those.

But Sir, the situation is really quite crappy for the man on the street.

For one I really cannot understand how we seem to be doing so badly economically. Can you not ensure that at least some of the policies carried out by the government benefit the people at large and not just the principals of those endeavors? Are our leaders really so incapable of coming up with something that works?

Other than the economic performance issues (I’ll come back to this in a while), the Malays and Muslims are also getting rather rowdy. I mean people like Ibrahim Ali cannot be doing well for you when you are the Prime Minister of a multi cultural country like Malaysia. Unless I got it all wrong and you are the Prime Minister for the Malays then you’re doing fine. But then again, I don’t want the likes of Samy Vellu and Soi Lek the porn star to represent my interests in Parliament… I don’t trust them

I know and submit that the constitution enshrines the rights of the Malays and Islam as the official religion of the country, but really, do these Malay/ Muslim commentators have to rub it in our faces? You see, I am Christian, as a follower of Christ, I firmly believe that Christianity is the only true way and only those with Jesus Christ in their hearts go to Heaven. You don’t see me going… “all you misguided Muslim are going to Hell!”… so what makes it alright for all kinds of crap to be said to non Muslims and about their beliefs and practices? I mean at the end of the day being privileged is one thing and fair is fair.

What’s happened to the 1 Malaysia slogan you were touting? Even here, it seems that the idea has been abandoned. Why? Are the minority races not Malaysian? Truth be told, we don’t need the slogan to become a truly integrated country, the way I see it, we need more, intelligent, progressive Malays that are more concerned with real progress than becoming “Jaguh Kampungs”.

You have to know there is a problem when you see the idea of Malay supremacy being forced through every channel available, at every opportunity, sometimes at the cost of the truth.

When we get into arguments with neighbours on the origins and authenticity of our arts, when we change dates in school text books to suite our agendas and when we suppress facts that don’t show Malays as the “first” and the “best” in our history we compromise the foundations that this nation is built on.

It doesn’t augur well for your cause (should it be to develop Malaysia and her people) when the Internet is so readily available for thinking people to research basis for arguments that put your political and politicians’ thinking to shame. Collectively as a country we all end up looking like idiots.

Mr Prime Minister.

I’m sure at some point in your life you had a plan of what you wanted to do for the country, I’m sure it was a grand scheme that would heal the country and empower its people, that didn’t involve jackals and snakes that poison and tear at the already existing wounds. 

You might have a term or two left in you. What’s beyond your political shelf life? A book? Speaking engagements at a few of seminars? Then what? See the next guy tear up the country further. How much further do you think it’ll go?

Do the right thing.

Denounce all practices that don’t go inline with the progress of the nation. By all means keep the Bumiputra Privileges, I don’t think it really does that much damage to the non Malays but more importantly look to the development of Malays, ensure their commercial viability by developing their character.  

The simple fact is they cannot be commercially viable when the majority cannot speak two words of English.

Unable to be of value and fend for themselves, they will always be dependent on protectionist policies.

The population is growing fast the costs of protection is rising, how long can this be sustained? We may already be too late. But still, we have to try. If not, we’ll eventually start to export Malay domestic helpers to Singapore and Hong Kong (our pride will not allow us to send them to Indonesia) because protectionism will become too expensive, and the people will have to fend for themselves. What’s to happen to Malay supremacy then?

Please look into these issues, I know you have lots to do but sometimes it would be nice to know that you are indeed looking our way as well.


Ben Rozario